A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before the great.
One principle of reading Proverbs is recognizing that recognition is not endorsement. The way things are is often not the way they should be. Proverbs deals with reality; Proverbs teaches us to deal with reality. Reality includes, thanks to Adam, quite a lot of sin, of men who are motivated by advancement rather than gain. Not to say that this proverb has no pleasant side, though; in part, it is a recognition of human nature as God made it in the first place. It just places God’s gift into context.
People are motivated by many, many passions, and many of those desires are susceptible to gifts. The man who wants money can be gifted money; the man who wants beauty can be shown beauty; the man who wants more time can receive a reprieve from some unwanted task. The recipient of such a gift, on receiving it, will generally regard the giver with more favor (or at least differently), will usually be more open to his request or his desires.
The root of this desire to reciprocate is complex. In part, we can attribute it to our instinct for justice: what I receive, I return; what I give out, I should expect back. God gave us this expectation, and however much we abuse it, valuing parts of life and His creation wrongly, however much we ignore it, refusing guilt, the instinct remains in us. Alternately, this desire to repay gifts rises from self-interest. I give to you; you give to me; I give to you. The transaction builds trust that each participant will continue it, to the benefit (ideally) of both.
Reciprocal favor is also built into the relational nature of man. God made us to be in covenant with Him and with each other (Gen. 2), in relationship. All relationships have duties, responsibilities of one party towards the other. In some, these duties are more heavily subsumed and based in emotion, as in marriage, though if the duty becomes merely an emotion, the covenant soon breaks. In other relationships, these duties are more transactional, founded on trust or respect rather than affection. Regardless, we all function in relational terms whether we like it or not (in terms of broken relationships, because we are sinful). Doing something for somebody doesn’t just imply a relationship; it creates one, fulfilling a duty created by the fulfillment.
Regardless of its foundation, the fact remains: a well-chosen gift opens doors. People listen better when they like you better, and they like you better when you give them what they want. Even the most transactional person will listen better simply out of self-interest, hoping for more, or from that aforementioned sense of justice. Not that the pattern is invariable- human perversity can break even this part of human nature, in time, and some people will take gifts as a reason to ignore or even deliberately thwart the gift giver. Recognizing such people requires discernment.
We should not view this human propensity as bad in itself. Certainly it is wicked in many of its applications. Partiality in judgement is a sin, as James 2:1 and Leviticus 19:15 affirm. Isaiah 5:23 curses those who “acquit the guilty for a bribe and deprive the innocent of their right.” Yet the sin here is not in the gift or in the attention given to the gift-giver. The sin is in letting an irrelevant factor—the gift, the social status of the litigant, etc.—weigh in judgement.
Giving a bribe to pervert justice is a sin; accepting such a bribe to pervert justice is also a sin. Yet taking payment or gift to attend to a matter is not inherently sinful. Lawyers, judges, pastors, elders, all of them justly receive benefits for their time (1 Tim. 5:18). These are not precisely gifts, but they illustrate the principle. Incentives are not wicked unless they are incentives to wickedness.
Consider also less official circumstances. You’re in a quarrel with your friend. You and he had a fight, over what you hardly remember, and you know that, for all he was in the wrong in part, you did not behave as you ought to either. When you go to him, is it wrong to bring a gift? No. The gift should not be a bribe to avoid the harm done by either of you, and it certainly should not be a means to avoid having to apologize for your part in the affair. But it can justly be used to smooth rough edges and allow a measured discussion of the problem, as a part of the path to reconciliation.
With all this in mind, we should consider the greatness of God’s gift to us and how it differs from this prudential gift, how it has similarities. He gave us His Son and the possibility of salvation. Yet, in a way, He did not do so in order to obtain our ears, for He could have those whenever He wished (Is. 6:6-10) . On another way, though, He gave that gift and by it we do hear Him- not, as in our gifts, because we deign to listen to the gift-giver, but by His grace, because the gift-giver gave us the desire to hear. So the gift of Christ to us is beyond our reciprocation, beyond our ability to equal.
God bless.
Written by Colson Potter
Sanctuary Functional Medicine, under the direction of Dr Eric Potter, IFMCP MD, provides functional medicine services to Nashville, Middle Tennessee and beyond. We frequently treat patients from Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Ohio, Indiana, and more... offering the hope of healthier more abundant lives to those with chronic illness.
Colson Potter writes copious fiction and nonfiction, including a weekly Proverbs post and his blog at Creational Story.
