A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.
The first declaration of God to man was to bless His creation, the second to command fruitfulness, and the second half of the second to take up stewardship over the world which, in the third declaration, He declared would provide for man’s bodily needs (Gen. 1:28-30). In this way, the first actual command to man has to do with the family, though it is not limited to that institution. This being so, it should be no surprise to us that the family brings such great blessing; because it brings so great a blessing, however, it can bring as great a curse, for “Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required” (Luke 12:48). There is blessing in the family, but also danger.
The danger of the family is that unfaithfulness in a single member of it is a damage and a pain to all the rest of it. Even apart from the family, no fool is an island to himself; his sin rebounds up and wounds many around him. The family, however, is close-knit indeed; by nature if not always in practice, the family is a bond of affection which makes every wound and every foolishness that much the greater. To love somebody who sins without remorse is a grievous pain; to love one who sins is to be wounded by that sin, directly and indirectly.
The bond of family, too, is built deep into our nature as humans. My father will always be my father; my mother will always be my mother. Time and distance and effort can dull the connection, but the work of man will not suffice to fully break it, save by the extreme of persistent idolatry (Deut. 13:6-10). True adoption, even among men, is irreversible, though a pretense may be attempted. To be of a family is to be nigh-unbreakably so; only the death and rebirth which comes in Christ can shake it (1 Cor. 7:12).
The bond being so strong, when one goes wrong, all the rest suffer from his wickedness. If a father descends into greed or gluttony, alcohol or nihilism, political idolatry or adultery, not only is his father, his children’s grandfather, greatly grieved, not only does his mother suffer, but his children suffer, his wife suffers, his siblings suffer. He brings bitterness to their tongues, tainting their lives and memories. So also if a son goes astray, refusing all direction, regarding his sisters as objects of derision and his mother as a figure only to be evaded, this is a great grief to them all. They are not wounded to death, hopefully, but they are wounded, for one who was to be loved has refused care, both of reward and discipline (Heb. 12:5-6). The gravity of such sin can be seen in the legislation of Deuteronomy 21, which declares that the son who engaged in perpetual and unrepentant rebellion (reaching, in context, beyond mere tomfoolery into works of grave malice or material negligence) was to be executed (v18-21).
All this seems an excellent argument against risking a family. Sure, I can’t help having a father and a mother; I likely have no choice as to acquiring siblings, cousins, and in-laws, at least not without actual sin. Yet I can choose to refrain from marriage and parenting. It seems prudent, in light of the risk. God, however, has given men (though there are exceptions to this vocational call (1 Cor. 7:38)) to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28).
See, for all the danger of family, it is among the greatest blessings given us by God. Fatherhood and motherhood are, by all accounts and my own witness from the outside, rather exhausting processes, fraught with pain. Yet “children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate” (Ps. 127:3-5). Does not our Father multiply children to Himself (Is. 64:8)? What greater example could there be, what greater assurance that children, adopted or given through the procreative order instated by God, are a blessing! In his children a Christian is given a summit beyond all other works, that in eternity to come he or she may say in looking at those who are by the grace of God made perfect (Heb. 12:23): “By my fruits you may know me a servant of the Lord Most High” (Matt. 7:16).
God bless.
Written by Colson Potter
Sanctuary Functional Medicine, under the direction of Dr Eric Potter, IFMCP MD, provides functional medicine services to Nashville, Middle Tennessee and beyond. We frequently treat patients from Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Ohio, Indiana, and more... offering the hope of healthier more abundant lives to those with chronic illness.
