Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.
Money can’t buy love, they say, but that’s manifestly false. People ‘buy’ friendship and love all the time. The grossest forms of this, of course, are sex slavery, prostitution, and pseudo-prostitution. We live in a world where riches get you friends and adulation, where power (of which money is a form) receives adoration. In light of all this, we face a double temptation: to seek or use money in order to gain friends and to succumb to the siren call of the gift. Moreover, we have a balancing principle to consider, for generosity is a legitimate and beautiful part of relationship, and the righteous often give gifts to each other.
We could seek money and power and the like as a way of obtaining friends. The first and obvious answer to this is, ‘What sort of friends?’ If the money and the power and the gifts are the only reason they have to be your friend, they are friends with your money and power, not you. The relationship is superficial and in most cases (except where the mercenary motive is open) deceitful. Even when the person is open about intent, indeed, there remains an element of deceit in the trappings of friendship- companionship, amiability, etc.- which can only be directed at the person’s true goal through you, the possessor, and which therefore seem to our hearts, not completely bound by logic, to be parts of an actual relationship.
Yet perhaps this is not enough. Superficial companionship may be more desirable than no companionship at all, you say, just as nasty food is better than no food at all for the starving. But the dichotomy here is false. The Christian does not deal with a contrast between false companionship and no companionship. He chooses between false companionship and fuller relationship with God, which that false companionship would impede both in its own effects and in the sin required to get there (because the desire for a falsity is sinful).
The dichotomy is all the more false for the blessing God gives to His people, a blessing which includes by implication a fellowship between those people (Deut. 28:1-14) even on this earth, even the fellowship which is the direct reference of the communion Christians share (1 Cor. 10:16).
This recognition speaks also to the inverse temptation, the temptation to be allured by fine gifts and ready bribes. The world abounds with short term pleasures. Some of these would be good in themselves, if their price tags did not include our integrity and righteousness; some, like the prostitution mentioned above, may not be partaken of at all. The Christian, however, should not view these bribes and these gifts in the false dichotomy of ‘gift, no gift.’ We should instead see them in juxtaposition to our relationship with God and its deep reality- and its blessings.
Besides companionship and fellowship, however imperfect, with His church, the Lord promises us great blessings. For too many, these blessings do not come in this-life ways, at least not for long. But the Lord does establish a pattern for His people: “All these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city… [and] in the field… [and] the fruit of your womb… [and] your backet and your kneading bowl. Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out” (Deut. 28:2-6).
It is the fruit of these blessings which the West is now squandering. By this fruit the early church became in very short order an alarming force to the pagan hegemons of Judea and the Roman Empire. By this fruit Christendom became beautiful, however flawed. By this fruit the Reformation sparked an era of unprecedented prosperity, whose fruit were now benefit from and despise. Though the fruit may appear in generational terms, it does come- and is not God’s blessing for you and your children greater than false companionship for yourself?
The righteous man, unlike the wicked, does not give or receive gifts in a spirit of benefit to himself. He does not give to feel generous or to find friends; he does not receive in order to accrue power or as compensation for false friendship. No, generosity among the righteous is a part of loving relationship. The righteous man gives in order to help his friend, in order to raise up the righteous (Deut. 15:11), and in order to honor God. This giving is the substance of friendship which mercenary relationships ape. Generosity is a fruit and occasional practice of healthy relationship, not its foundation.
This proper generosity, the type enjoined in Leviticus 19:9-10, Deuteronomy 15:11, and Acts 6:1-6 may be repaid not in kind, may receive only false friendship and contempt. Historically, the world chooses precisely that repayment- but the men in the world, occasionally, recognize in the proper generosity a truth which urges their repentance. When directed to the brothers in Christ, it has similarly mixed results, but the tenor, as God has promised in giving us communion in Him, is one of true friendship (though not easy friendship) and companionship, of the sort which lasts to eternity.
God bless.
Sanctuary Functional Medicine, under the direction of Dr Eric Potter, IFMCP MD, provides functional medicine services to Nashville, Middle Tennessee and beyond. We frequently treat patients from Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Ohio, Indiana, and more... offering the hope of healthier more abundant lives to those with chronic illness.
Colson Potter writes copious fiction and nonfiction, including a weekly Proverbs post and his blog at Creational Story.
