He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.
The integrity and vibrancy of the family are second only to one in Scripture’s conception of spiritual health. Personal moral health, by faith in God and the work of His Spirit (John 14:26), is the primary and foundational part of a Christian’s spiritual health, founded on relationship with God, but the Christian family is the next step, critical to the fullness of that first step and of immense power, despite its common eclipse in man’s thought by institutions of religion (the church) and force (the state). The first sin was against God (Gen. 3), but the second sin recorded in Scripture was against a brother, under God (Gen. 4; 1 John 2:10; Jam. 2:8). This proverb highlights the importance of familial harmony, of parental duty, and of filial love.
Proverbs does not place the blame only on the rebellious son. Assuredly he does evil here and is to blame for such. The verse ends, however, by directing our attention to the parents, to their “shame and reproach.” A son’s sin, particularly such egregious sin as is here described, signals something of the parent’s character. Specifically, it signifies, with varying accuracy, that they are not fulfilling their parental duty (of education (Deut. 6:7), care (Matt. 7:9-10), and discipline (Heb. 12:5-6)). The fruit their parenting has born shows it to be flawed (Luk. 6:43-45).
Now, in some cases the rebellion is not truly the parent’s fault. Job suffered for no sin of his own (Job 1-2, 42:7). A child may rebel even though the parents have not neglected or perverted their parental duty. Such is God’s providence. In handling specific situations, therefore, we must not commit the error of Job’s friends; we must be careful that we condemn not just on the basis of fruit but on the basis of specific faults and failures, amendable and provable. Fruit is a sign, but many fruits are explainable by more than one cause (hatred of His law is always a sign of unregeneracy, but suffering or a son’s rebellion can have other reasons than personal sin). Nevertheless, the son’s rebellion brings injury to the parents, to the family, and gives reason for self-reflection, if not always repentance.
(Well, there’s always, we being human, reason for some repentance. But magnitude and relevance varies; moreover, we must remember always that God’s forgiveness is real, no matter our guilt’s tendency to linger and recur.)
Despite all this, she son should not get off scot-free. We are not merely products of environment, destined by parental handling towards certain traits and actions. Parents are a powerful influence, capable of inflicting horrific damage or aiding in the establishment of a truly strong foundation for life, but they are separate people. If I sin, I sin, not my parents (Eze. 18). I am responsible for my own actions, whether cursed by my ancestors’ sin (Ex. 20:5), the damage they wrought, or blessed by their righteousness (Gen. 17:9; Ps. 127; Jam. 5:16). So the son, in his rebellion, sins grievously.
Exodus 20:12 puts it in plain terms: “Honor your father and your mother.” This commandment, unlike its companions in the Decalogue (with the partial exception of the Second Commandment), has a reward attached: “that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (v12). Familial harmony—that the family acts righteously, honoring the honorable and maintaining God’s order—produces great fruit, even a harvest of holy men and women (by which reason Paul says of Godly women, “Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control” (2 Tim. 2:15), declaring the crucial role of the mother as the central educator of the children, by which she demonstrates God’s holiness).
More, according to Genesis 1:28, fruitfulness in family is part and parcel of fruitfulness entire. Family is the institution in which and by which men take dominion over the earth, stewarding it to His glory and our joy. The son who rebels against his father, who acts utterly contrary to righteousness in assailing his mother, that son strikes at and poisons a critical part of his purpose as a man, as a human being: to “be fruitful” (Gen. 1:28).
The whole of the family has a duty, disparate according to relationship. The father and husband must lead in imitation of Christ (Eph. 5:1), a duty of complete magnitude over the relationship, calling him to justice and wisdom and self-sacrificial love, a duty which includes his vocation and the stewardship of the world. The wife and mother must follow the husband only in righteousness (Eph. 5:22-24), must raise the children in the fear of the Lord (Deut. 6:7), aid and helpmeet (Gen. 2:18-25). The children must heed their parents and learn from them to heed the Lord (Ex. 20:12). Amidst all of this, “Sin is crouching at the door” (Gen. 4:7), “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 15:57).
God bless.
Sanctuary Functional Medicine, under the direction of Dr Eric Potter, IFMCP MD, provides functional medicine services to Nashville, Middle Tennessee and beyond. We frequently treat patients from Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Ohio, Indiana, and more... offering the hope of healthier more abundant lives to those with chronic illness.
Colson Potter writes copious fiction and nonfiction, including a weekly Proverbs post and his blog at Creational Story.
